Thursday, April 1, 2010

I April Fooled Myself Getting a Tan

April 1st 2010 we Chicagoans awakened to the promise of a beautiful Sping day with temperatures reaching the mid to high 70's.  The kind of day that lends to ditching work. This promise was kept and so my story begins.

Although it was April Fools day, most of my tweeps (need I say on Twitter?) were updating creatively deceptive ways for getting out of work.  Here are a few:  Tell your boss you have a doctors appointment you totally forgot about. Another one I liked was, today is the last day for me to take my car in for the recall. The most serious excuses were sudden illnesses or family members getting sick. (not one I would use, cuz you can jinx yourself).

Fortunately, we have our own business so there really isn't any reason to make up excuses to get out and enjoy a beautiful day. I, for one, listen to others who probably know better than myself.  So I decided to get outside immediately.  All I had to do is foward the phones to my cell, make a big ass drink and lotion up.  The first two went without incident.  HOWever, the part of my plan... not so much! I put lotion on and headed up the stairs, only to second guess my applicaton process.  At the last minute it dawned on me to put some product on my face. It's Easter this weekend and I want to look healthy and tanned.  The face being the first thing people notice.  MUST add more product!

I closed my eyes, held my breath and proceeded to spray on this quick dry tanning stuff I bought last year.  What could possibly be go wrong, right?  HOLY SHIT STORM!!!! The first thing that happened was, I couldn't catch my breath.  The spray was all alcoholy and it took my breath away.  Then I felt piercing needles poking me in the eyes.  Not literally, but my eyes were burning sooooo bad, it made my nose run.

I have to admit, this was probably one of those ridiculous moments in my life were I should acknowledge READ THE INSTRUCTIONS first.  My eyes are burning so bad I can barely see what I am typing this very moment.

If I knew then that spraying quick dry tanning lotion on my face was going to asphyxiate and blind me.  I would never have used it in that way.  What I know now is something I am sure someone way smarter than me once said, "think before you act!"

This is not an April Fools prank! May my stupidity help you from ever experiencing this searing paing I have in my eyes.

Don't be surprised to see more of the same...

3 comments:

  1. Exactly why I love you - we do stupid stuff and can't wait to share!!!!!!!!! Long live the Midwest quest for spring tan!

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  2. Oh dear that sounds painful. Did the tan work out or did you wipe it all off when it was stinging your eyes?

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  3. Let's just say the BASE tan worked. The stuff I sprayed on wasn't self tanner. It is Coppertone Dry Oil Continuous spray with sunscreen.

    Believe it or not, I am going to do it again today. Minus the face spray.

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